Hello, cyber dwellers. Sorry I have not been updating very often. School is usurping most of my time (yes, usurping. Large words. I must remember where I am. Most people nowadays can't type out a three letter word. For reference, please see any song title that replaces "You" with "U.") But I shall be going on Christmas break within the next few weeks, so I shall be bored out of my gourd at home, leaving plenty of time for me to update and entertain you all in a circus monkey-esque quality. I have many pictures stocked up for a good four or five blog posts, so never fear. The two people who actually read this blog will not be disappointed. The rest will merely do what they have been doing best: expressing no opinion with the highest form of apathy possible. Thank you all!
-Alisha
Email: abrink@adrian.edu
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/VioletStrike
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/VioletStrike
Deviant Art: http://alabasteralchemist.deviantart.com
Formspring: http://formspring.me/VioletStrike
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/ThePhantomAlchemist
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Dear Snap, Crackle and Pop: I'm On To You...
Is it strange that I often have to make a trip to Walmart or something like it at least twice a week? It seems a little strange. Maybe I'm just strange.
But yeah, I've been to Walmart twice since last Thursday, yet I only took pictures one of the days. I was there yesterday, as a matter of fact, but it was very brief. Walked in there with my fiance, came out with my fiance and two coolers. Yes, I'm well aware that barbecue season is over. No, I'm a vegetarian so I don't even like anything remotely barbecue-esque. It was for a recruitment party for my sorority tonight. Yesterday at about three in the afternoon was the only time where I could get to the store. Yes, I'm in a sorority. No, we don't sacrifice goats and do occult summonings at our initiation ceremony, so don't even ask. Everyone always asks.
All digressions aside, I really only sincerely took pictures on Saturday, while Cory (my fiance) and I were grocery shopping. I must have been great company, too. He'd be an aisle behind me, asking an invisible me what kind of Doritos he should get, while I would be crawling on the floor by cereal.
Alright, I didn't crawl on the floor. That's gross.
All in all, I got 11 decent pictures. Perfect amount, if you ask me. Yet another strange fact. Before, when I would go into stores and find randomly misplaced items, it would only be one or two times. I found eleven. Ten, actually, since one of them really isn't a misplaced item, but we'll get to that little tidbit in a moment. The point is: it's odd how much you find when you're actually looking. That being said, I got quite a lot of good material.
The first thing I catch when I walk in is this:
Personally, I don't think this person was necessarily lazy. My theory is actually that the placer of the cashews was a modern artist. He/she left the nuts sitting atop a mountain of twelve-packs of soda to try and give us a representation of white-trash American values: salted cashews and Mountain Dew. Personally, I would have chosen beer over soda, but it's modern art. He/she could have put it in a dung heap and called it a masterpiece. But never fear, lazy excuse for an artist. I captured your career defining work. We can display it in the NYC museum right next to the lady sitting in a chair, staring at the wall. Never did know if she was supposed to be part of the display or if she just got sick of standing...
Right next to this beautiful sculpture of modern excellence, I discovered this:
Not so out-of-place. Give your kid a 7-Up while doodling? Fair enough, good sir. Obviously, though, this parent was like "Eh, screw creativity. I want me some more root beer." Yeehaw.
This next one, I've been having an internal debate about (note: if you click on the images, they will get larger. Just saying.):
I honestly don't know what is weirder: the fact that there's a toy boat sitting amongst the mac n' cheese...or the fact that there's a "cheesy pizza" flavor Easy Mac. No offense...that sounds downright revolting.
This next bit was a two-fer. Originally, I spotted this:
Nothing like some good ol' honey with your Oreos, right? Personally, I'd take the "Parent Trap" approach and go with peanut butter, but to each his own. Someone must have thought honey-doused chocolate cookies was a smart idea.
As I was laughing at this and taking a photo, however, Cory was laughing at something barely even a foot away:
Another theory: this guy looked at Honey Oreos and said, "Nuh-uh. You think that's a weird combination? Bull crap. I can do better than that." And thus, we get iced animal crackers, Oreos, and Scooby Snacks all rolled in strawberry jam. I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it. Mmmm.
This next one was a little amusing, if not vomit-worthy:
After further examination of this image, I found out that these were indeed plums. Taken from the produce section, all the way on the other side of the store from the paper products. Though it may be a little unbelievable, the people who set up these stores do it with a design in mind. They put the produce at the end, right next to check-out, so people can get them last so they don't spoil as fast. Along the line, someone must have started out backward. And at some point from the produce section to the paper products, these plums must have offended someone enough to get dropped off about as far from a chilled environment as it gets. During my examination, I also concluded that they had to have been dropped off quite a while ago before I found them. "Squishy" and "bordering on over-ripe" are two ways to describe it.
On the note of bad combinations, like the Honey Oreos above, I found this:
Do I even need to describe how gross these two things would be together? I can't even eat cantaloupe after I brush my teeth, much less with pickles. Pickles make everything taste gross.
Here's one to tickle your funny bone:
Shopper: Oh no! Someone left their crappy novelty toy amidst the Fruit 2 O and tater chips!
Prankster: Psyche! It's not a real crappy novelty toy amidst the Fruit 2 O and tater chips. It's a novelty crappy novelty toy.
Shopper: Ohhhahahahahaha! What a little hellion you are!
Speaking of novelty items...
I knew it. There was always something suspicious about Snap, Crackle, and Pop. They're really ancient religion enthusiasts, resurrecting a dead ritual of rain dance and turning it into a virgin-sacrificing, pig blood-drinking cult. I've always had my doubts about them...
However, I had to give the winner of the trip to this picture:
REJECTED!!!!!!!
Now, those were the ten pictures of the misplaced, sticking with the theme of the blog. However, I found something that I might make a regular thing. It wasn't out of place, but it still mad me go, "Huh?"
Tell me: What's wrong with this picture?
Last time I checked, it wasn't Smirnoff Pong. Then again, I'm not much on the party scene. "Beer" and "Smirnoff" totally sound similar. I can see how one would get that confused.
Alright, my hands officially feel like they are about to fall off of my wrists and elope to Las Vegas, so that will be all from me. Leave me a comment! What was your favorite picture? Do you have any ideas on what the "Cashews on top of Twelve-Packs" sculpture really means? What combination was worse: Honey Oreos, animal cracker/Oreo/Scooby Snack "jam"boree, or Pickle Cantaloupe Surprise? And please, let me know if you or anyone you know has ever played Smirnoff Pong.
Also, I got several comments from people (mainly on Facebook) that they have random pictures of this kind of stuff. Well...send them to me! My email is abrink@adrian.edu. Just send it to me in an attachment, and I should have no problem getting it up on here. The more interaction I can have with those reading, the better. Plus, I'll give you the credit for the finding of the photo and everything. It's risk-free!
I will put all the ways to contact me down below as I sign off. Thanks for reading. PLEASE subscribe and comment! Thanks!
-Alisha
Email: abrink@adrian.edu
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/VioletStrike
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/VioletStrike
Deviant Art: http://alabasteralchemist.deviantart.com
Formspring: http://www.formspring.me/VioletStrike
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/thephantomalchemist
But yeah, I've been to Walmart twice since last Thursday, yet I only took pictures one of the days. I was there yesterday, as a matter of fact, but it was very brief. Walked in there with my fiance, came out with my fiance and two coolers. Yes, I'm well aware that barbecue season is over. No, I'm a vegetarian so I don't even like anything remotely barbecue-esque. It was for a recruitment party for my sorority tonight. Yesterday at about three in the afternoon was the only time where I could get to the store. Yes, I'm in a sorority. No, we don't sacrifice goats and do occult summonings at our initiation ceremony, so don't even ask. Everyone always asks.
All digressions aside, I really only sincerely took pictures on Saturday, while Cory (my fiance) and I were grocery shopping. I must have been great company, too. He'd be an aisle behind me, asking an invisible me what kind of Doritos he should get, while I would be crawling on the floor by cereal.
Alright, I didn't crawl on the floor. That's gross.
All in all, I got 11 decent pictures. Perfect amount, if you ask me. Yet another strange fact. Before, when I would go into stores and find randomly misplaced items, it would only be one or two times. I found eleven. Ten, actually, since one of them really isn't a misplaced item, but we'll get to that little tidbit in a moment. The point is: it's odd how much you find when you're actually looking. That being said, I got quite a lot of good material.
The first thing I catch when I walk in is this:
Personally, I don't think this person was necessarily lazy. My theory is actually that the placer of the cashews was a modern artist. He/she left the nuts sitting atop a mountain of twelve-packs of soda to try and give us a representation of white-trash American values: salted cashews and Mountain Dew. Personally, I would have chosen beer over soda, but it's modern art. He/she could have put it in a dung heap and called it a masterpiece. But never fear, lazy excuse for an artist. I captured your career defining work. We can display it in the NYC museum right next to the lady sitting in a chair, staring at the wall. Never did know if she was supposed to be part of the display or if she just got sick of standing...
Right next to this beautiful sculpture of modern excellence, I discovered this:
Not so out-of-place. Give your kid a 7-Up while doodling? Fair enough, good sir. Obviously, though, this parent was like "Eh, screw creativity. I want me some more root beer." Yeehaw.
This next one, I've been having an internal debate about (note: if you click on the images, they will get larger. Just saying.):
I honestly don't know what is weirder: the fact that there's a toy boat sitting amongst the mac n' cheese...or the fact that there's a "cheesy pizza" flavor Easy Mac. No offense...that sounds downright revolting.
This next bit was a two-fer. Originally, I spotted this:
Nothing like some good ol' honey with your Oreos, right? Personally, I'd take the "Parent Trap" approach and go with peanut butter, but to each his own. Someone must have thought honey-doused chocolate cookies was a smart idea.
As I was laughing at this and taking a photo, however, Cory was laughing at something barely even a foot away:
Another theory: this guy looked at Honey Oreos and said, "Nuh-uh. You think that's a weird combination? Bull crap. I can do better than that." And thus, we get iced animal crackers, Oreos, and Scooby Snacks all rolled in strawberry jam. I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it. Mmmm.
This next one was a little amusing, if not vomit-worthy:
After further examination of this image, I found out that these were indeed plums. Taken from the produce section, all the way on the other side of the store from the paper products. Though it may be a little unbelievable, the people who set up these stores do it with a design in mind. They put the produce at the end, right next to check-out, so people can get them last so they don't spoil as fast. Along the line, someone must have started out backward. And at some point from the produce section to the paper products, these plums must have offended someone enough to get dropped off about as far from a chilled environment as it gets. During my examination, I also concluded that they had to have been dropped off quite a while ago before I found them. "Squishy" and "bordering on over-ripe" are two ways to describe it.
On the note of bad combinations, like the Honey Oreos above, I found this:
Do I even need to describe how gross these two things would be together? I can't even eat cantaloupe after I brush my teeth, much less with pickles. Pickles make everything taste gross.
Here's one to tickle your funny bone:
Shopper: Oh no! Someone left their crappy novelty toy amidst the Fruit 2 O and tater chips!
Prankster: Psyche! It's not a real crappy novelty toy amidst the Fruit 2 O and tater chips. It's a novelty crappy novelty toy.
Shopper: Ohhhahahahahaha! What a little hellion you are!
Speaking of novelty items...
I knew it. There was always something suspicious about Snap, Crackle, and Pop. They're really ancient religion enthusiasts, resurrecting a dead ritual of rain dance and turning it into a virgin-sacrificing, pig blood-drinking cult. I've always had my doubts about them...
However, I had to give the winner of the trip to this picture:
REJECTED!!!!!!!
Now, those were the ten pictures of the misplaced, sticking with the theme of the blog. However, I found something that I might make a regular thing. It wasn't out of place, but it still mad me go, "Huh?"
Tell me: What's wrong with this picture?
Last time I checked, it wasn't Smirnoff Pong. Then again, I'm not much on the party scene. "Beer" and "Smirnoff" totally sound similar. I can see how one would get that confused.
Alright, my hands officially feel like they are about to fall off of my wrists and elope to Las Vegas, so that will be all from me. Leave me a comment! What was your favorite picture? Do you have any ideas on what the "Cashews on top of Twelve-Packs" sculpture really means? What combination was worse: Honey Oreos, animal cracker/Oreo/Scooby Snack "jam"boree, or Pickle Cantaloupe Surprise? And please, let me know if you or anyone you know has ever played Smirnoff Pong.
Also, I got several comments from people (mainly on Facebook) that they have random pictures of this kind of stuff. Well...send them to me! My email is abrink@adrian.edu. Just send it to me in an attachment, and I should have no problem getting it up on here. The more interaction I can have with those reading, the better. Plus, I'll give you the credit for the finding of the photo and everything. It's risk-free!
I will put all the ways to contact me down below as I sign off. Thanks for reading. PLEASE subscribe and comment! Thanks!
-Alisha
Email: abrink@adrian.edu
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/VioletStrike
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/VioletStrike
Deviant Art: http://alabasteralchemist.deviantart.com
Formspring: http://www.formspring.me/VioletStrike
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/thephantomalchemist
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Why Are There Light Bulbs in the Bread Aisle?
So, hello all you out there in the magical internet world! Welcome. My name is Alisha, recently turned 20-year-old, English and Theatre student in my third year at the lovely Adrian College in little ol' Adrian, Michigan. I know what you're thinking right now. "Alisha, why the hell am I here, anyway? I have a life and all that, which is more than what it seems like you have."
Well, thanks for the insulting comment, Internet peruser who I don't even know. To be honest, I don't know why I'm here either. I do have a life, for your information. Too much of one, I think sometimes. It's only been about three weeks into my third year of my Bachelor work, and I already feel the slow urge of wanting to throw myself off the roof of a building creeping up on me. I'm in two shows, juggling nineteen credit hours, and trying to finish write the first book of a four-part young adult fantasy series. It's tough goings. Not only that, but trying to help everyone with their personal issues is a whole debacle in itself. My fiance just recently moved up to Adrian and is trying to find a job, so his confidence and happiness is fair, on a good day. My friends all have their own little deals going on, and I'm the one who gets to play therapist most of the time.
In all, I do have a life, really. Just not while at work.
The office I work at is a little white-walled box on the first floor of the English, Psych, and Religion building on campus. My day consists of reading, mostly. I also go on Facebook and do homework. But it's mostly reading. If I'm lucky, I actually get to do something work related. Mostly that consists of making copies for professors, running back and forth to the admin building for professors, getting things from the library from professors. But, again, it's mostly reading.
Currently, I am sitting here at the very beginning of a four-hour shift, and I figured, "Hey, why not give this little idea I had tossing around a shot."
You see, I've always been a fan of walking around Walmart or Meijer (the Dutchman's Walmart, as I call it. Those of you not from the Mid West won't know what the heck I'm talking about), and seeing all the misplaced items sprinkled about in the wackiest of places. You know how it goes. Marge and Phil are walking along and they find a great deal on some mayonnaise. They've had a hankerin' for some mayonnaise for quite some time, now, and it's on sale, goldurnit. Regrettably, they weigh the options: do they get the mayonnaise, or do they keep the Greatest Hits of Willie Nelson CD they found in the bargain bin? It's a tough call, of course. But eventually, they know deep down in there little fatty food-lovin' hearts what the right decision is. Ultimately, they abandon their dear Willie. But...who has the time to trek all the way back to the electronics? Certainly not Marge and Phil. They need to make this fast, since the NASCAR race is coming on at eight. They need to think quickly. They take a quick glance around, making sure the blue smocks aren't lurking around any corners, and with precision only someone of their caliber can pull off, the mayonnaise and CD switch is completed. They trot away, leaving poor Willie to chill with the Helman's.
It all started with this picture:
I just so happened to pass by this amazing spectacle and giggle, whipping out my phone and posting it to Facebook and Twitter. Didn't think much of it except for that it was rather amusing.
After this picture, though, I started noticing all the weird places things ended up in. Just yesterday while at Meijer, I found a birthday card for a daughter-in-law sitting on top of a sushi tray. I would have captured that little gem but I realized I had forgotten my phone. In the very same trip, my roommate found a pack of light bulbs nestled in by the loaves of bread (thus where the blog title comes from. Didn't think "Daughter-in-Law Birthday Card in the Chilled Sushi Section" has as nice of a ring to it. Go figure.)
And that got me to thinking...why don't I take all these pictures and put them on a blog? I had only ever kept a blog as a sort of personal diary-type of thing. And those all sucked hardcore. So I thought, "Hey, this could be fun." Plus, I'm taking a writing class and the professor is requiring us to start a blog, so hey. Two birds with one stone, am I right?
Here's the deal: I'm going to try and gather up as many photos as I can throughout the week by going to a big supermarket or other kind of store and finding all these random occurences. Then, we'll make Thursday the update day, which is when I'm on shift for four hours, giving me plenty of time to upload and write up an update. Sound kosher?
Don't know why I'm asking questions. I probably don't have anyone reading this right now. Anyway, sorry for there not being any more photos. I literally just got this idea yesterday, and this is the only photo I have so far that will fit in. Also, if you have any photos you would like to contribute, you can always email me with the photo available for upload in some way, and I can tack it onto my post (while giving you much-deserved credit, of course.)
That's all for now. Please subscribe, show your friends, and wait for next Thursday! Maybe even sooner if I get time and pictures. But that partly depends on you! Thanks everyone!
-Lish
Well, thanks for the insulting comment, Internet peruser who I don't even know. To be honest, I don't know why I'm here either. I do have a life, for your information. Too much of one, I think sometimes. It's only been about three weeks into my third year of my Bachelor work, and I already feel the slow urge of wanting to throw myself off the roof of a building creeping up on me. I'm in two shows, juggling nineteen credit hours, and trying to finish write the first book of a four-part young adult fantasy series. It's tough goings. Not only that, but trying to help everyone with their personal issues is a whole debacle in itself. My fiance just recently moved up to Adrian and is trying to find a job, so his confidence and happiness is fair, on a good day. My friends all have their own little deals going on, and I'm the one who gets to play therapist most of the time.
In all, I do have a life, really. Just not while at work.
The office I work at is a little white-walled box on the first floor of the English, Psych, and Religion building on campus. My day consists of reading, mostly. I also go on Facebook and do homework. But it's mostly reading. If I'm lucky, I actually get to do something work related. Mostly that consists of making copies for professors, running back and forth to the admin building for professors, getting things from the library from professors. But, again, it's mostly reading.
Currently, I am sitting here at the very beginning of a four-hour shift, and I figured, "Hey, why not give this little idea I had tossing around a shot."
You see, I've always been a fan of walking around Walmart or Meijer (the Dutchman's Walmart, as I call it. Those of you not from the Mid West won't know what the heck I'm talking about), and seeing all the misplaced items sprinkled about in the wackiest of places. You know how it goes. Marge and Phil are walking along and they find a great deal on some mayonnaise. They've had a hankerin' for some mayonnaise for quite some time, now, and it's on sale, goldurnit. Regrettably, they weigh the options: do they get the mayonnaise, or do they keep the Greatest Hits of Willie Nelson CD they found in the bargain bin? It's a tough call, of course. But eventually, they know deep down in there little fatty food-lovin' hearts what the right decision is. Ultimately, they abandon their dear Willie. But...who has the time to trek all the way back to the electronics? Certainly not Marge and Phil. They need to make this fast, since the NASCAR race is coming on at eight. They need to think quickly. They take a quick glance around, making sure the blue smocks aren't lurking around any corners, and with precision only someone of their caliber can pull off, the mayonnaise and CD switch is completed. They trot away, leaving poor Willie to chill with the Helman's.
It all started with this picture:
I just so happened to pass by this amazing spectacle and giggle, whipping out my phone and posting it to Facebook and Twitter. Didn't think much of it except for that it was rather amusing.
After this picture, though, I started noticing all the weird places things ended up in. Just yesterday while at Meijer, I found a birthday card for a daughter-in-law sitting on top of a sushi tray. I would have captured that little gem but I realized I had forgotten my phone. In the very same trip, my roommate found a pack of light bulbs nestled in by the loaves of bread (thus where the blog title comes from. Didn't think "Daughter-in-Law Birthday Card in the Chilled Sushi Section" has as nice of a ring to it. Go figure.)
And that got me to thinking...why don't I take all these pictures and put them on a blog? I had only ever kept a blog as a sort of personal diary-type of thing. And those all sucked hardcore. So I thought, "Hey, this could be fun." Plus, I'm taking a writing class and the professor is requiring us to start a blog, so hey. Two birds with one stone, am I right?
Here's the deal: I'm going to try and gather up as many photos as I can throughout the week by going to a big supermarket or other kind of store and finding all these random occurences. Then, we'll make Thursday the update day, which is when I'm on shift for four hours, giving me plenty of time to upload and write up an update. Sound kosher?
Don't know why I'm asking questions. I probably don't have anyone reading this right now. Anyway, sorry for there not being any more photos. I literally just got this idea yesterday, and this is the only photo I have so far that will fit in. Also, if you have any photos you would like to contribute, you can always email me with the photo available for upload in some way, and I can tack it onto my post (while giving you much-deserved credit, of course.)
That's all for now. Please subscribe, show your friends, and wait for next Thursday! Maybe even sooner if I get time and pictures. But that partly depends on you! Thanks everyone!
-Lish
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